After serving just 7 months of her 37-month prison sentence at “Camp Cupcake” in West Virginia (the same federal prison camp that hosted Martha Stewart!) Monica Conyers wants to go home. In a three page hand-written letter to to the court, Monica claims officials failed to take into consideration her “age, education, vocational skill, employment record, family ties and responsibilities” and believes she should be allowed to serve the rest of her time in “home detention”.  

- Her husband, U.S. Rep. John Conyers immediately wrote a follow-up letter begging the court to deny her request. 

- If they don’t let her go home, there’s gonna be a lot of Shreking… I mean, shrieking!

- If “family ties” was a legit reason to get out of the hooscow, Charles Manson would have been freed years ago.