Charlie Sheen’s call-ins to Dan Patrick’s radio show on ESPN continue. So far this week he’s announced that he’s cured, that doing crack socially is fine (if you can handle it), and that he finds sobriety boring.  And now… (drumroll please) he’s announced that he would like to be a counselor for… 

Lindsay Lohan because he “knows what she’s going through”.  He said he’d tell her, “Work on your impulse control, just try to think things through a little bit before you do it.”

- For instance, Charlie always counts to ten before asking for a porn star to bring him a briefcase full of cocaine. 

- Is it just me or would Charlie Sheen counseling Lindsay Lohan be about as successful as hiring a blind guy to be an Air Traffic Controller?

- Lindsay was so excited about the idea she went out and stole some jewelry to celebrate!