A “Miner” Indiscretion…

One of the trapped Chilean miners is dreading his rescue after his wife ran into his secret mistress during a vigil at the mine.  Yonni Barrios’ wife Marta was shocked when she heard his lover Susana shouting his name.  The wife says she will stand by her man when he is finally rescued… but the mistress claims he has been planning to leave his wife for her. 

When rescuers told the miners they wouldn’t likely be rescued until Christmastime, Barrios asked if they could possibly postpone that until spring.

This guy is the Tiger Woods of Miners.

Can You Blow Bubbles With Cocaine? 

Paris Hilton, who was busted for possession of Cocaine late Friday night not only claims that the purse it was found in wasn’t hers, she says she thought the powdery white substance police found in a plastic baggie was gum.

She also claimed that she thought her license was a “Get Out of Jail Free” Card… which to honest, is pretty much true!

Paris also thought the eyebrows tweezers in the purse were a pair of barbeque tongs belonging to someone with really small hands.

Drinks on the Blouse!

Yesterday a lawsuit was thrown out that seeked to ban “Ladies Nights” in bars as being sexually discriminatory.  The plaintiff had claimed that the idea of letting women into bars for free or half price was an invention of militant feminists, designed to make men pay for women to party.  He said, “it’s a transfer of money from the wallet of guys to the pocketbooks of girls”. 

This guy sounds crazier than the guy who broke into the Discovery Channel Building. 

Call me crazy… but what man doesn’t mind buying drinks for a militant feminist? 

The plaintiff, a Mr. H. Wallbanger, had no comment. 

Gee Your Hair Smells Expensive!

Lloyds of London announced they have written a $1 million insurance policy for Pittsburgh Steeler strong safety, Troy Polamalu’s famous hair.  Polamalu hasn’t cut his hair in seven years, in tribute to his Samoan heritage. It’s now a gigantic, curly bush of hair that’s become his trademark. 

The policy was paid for by the new “Head & Shoulder Pads” Shampoo.

Every Sunday this guy sets a new record… for helmut hair. 

While the other Steeler players are working out in the gym to stay in condition, he’s stealing all of the conditioner in the shower.  

Kneel Diamond!

Tuesday, a Miami Dolphin’s practice was halted after defensive end Kendall Langford realized he was missing one of his 2.5 carat diamond earrings.  His teammates and grounds crew got on their knees and combed the field looking for it, but it was not found. 

So he’ll just have to wear his big dangly hoop-style earrings.

When I was playing football (Junior Varsity High School!!!), I didn’t wearing sissy diamond earrings.  I just went with simple gold studs. 

Kelsey Needs Your Help!

Kelsey Grammer played Frasier Crane for 20 years, but after two flopped sit-coms and a mega-expense divorce he wants to do it again.  He’s been tweeting fans about a reunion show, or a spin-off about Frasier’s and Nile’s sons with the old cast doing cameos.  He added that maybe it could be updated around social media:  “Now, that would be powerful, include like Twitter, iPhones, etc…”.

Sounds like he has no idea what the show would really be about.  If you have any ideas, send them to me via social media like Twitter, iPhones, etc.  Now that would be powerful! 

Here’s an idea:  He plays a psychiatrist who spends a lot of time drinking in a Boston bar. 


Hope you have a “Cheer”full day and we’ll see you back here tomorrow for the Friday blog, “The Week That Was”!

- Dick