Hey there and sorry about yesterday!  Computers are like condoms… they’re great when they work, but you’re really screwed if they don’t!

Now… on with the news!

“He Loves to Slide…and it Showed!”

Steven Slater, the JetBlue flight attendant who cursed-out a plane load of passengers over the intercom, grabbed a beer and exited the plane via the inflatable slide is being hailed as a folk hero.  Over 13 thousand people have already joined a facebook page in his honor – saying it was about time someone finally stood up to rude passengers.  His family says he “snapped” after getting hit in the head while two female passengers argued about overhead bin space. 

His lawyer is claiming temporary insanity – saying his mind was “not in it’s full, upright position at the time of the incident”. 

How’s he gonna get a decent paying job now?  Instead of handing out peanuts… he’ll be making them. 

Soda Way To Get A Job Is To Stay Sober?

Researchers from the Universities of Michigan and Pennsylvania have found that non-drinkers have a better shot at getting a job.  During a series of mock-interviews, applicants were given a choice of Coke or “the house Merlot”.  Those who chose the wine were seen as “less intelligent” and less worthy of hiring.

But much more fun to date!

The only exception was for those applying for a job with Pepsi.

The only people who can drink during an interview and for sure get a job are morning disc jockeys. 

From our old friend Jacques Cousteau Jr… Animals in the News!

Police in Buffalo, New York arrested Gary Korkuk on a traffic violation when they heard a cat crying in the trunk.  They opened it to find Korkuc’s cat in a cage, “marinating” in a mix of red peppers, oil, salt and chili peppers.  He said he had decided to eat the cat because it was “mean to him”.

I guess it’s okay for cats to be aloof and moody.  But mean? Forget it!

Maybe he just has an unusual way of making Chicken Cat-chatori.

Have you ever eaten cat?  It tastes like dog food!

Well that really Sucks!

Some neighbors in a town in Germany called for help when they heard horrifying screams coming from a nearby house while the owner was away.  Firefighters burst in to find a cat and a vacuum cleaner.  The cat had somehow turned on the vacuum and was screaming in terror. 

Screaming… that’s the exact reaction most husbands have when their wives ask them to vacuum. 

They calmed the cat down by putting him in a nice marinade of oil and chili peppers. 

On the bright side, his litter box was clean as a whistle. 

Can you sell Chesticles on Craig’s List?

Guo Qingpo of China held a record that he’s happy to get rid of – He had the world’s largest manboobs.  About ten years ago a metabolic condition kicked in and his pecs grew as big as footballs.  After years of ridicule he finally found  a doctor willing to perform a moob-ectomy and now says he feels like a new man.

We tried to reach Big Al for a comment on this story, but he was on a  plane to China.

I don’t understand why he had the surgery!  Aren’t football and big boobs every man’s dream?

If only there was a surgery that could remove all the man-boobs in Congress! 

He Should Have Seen It Coming…

The Moscow Times reports that a Russian man recently became furious when a gypsy fortune teller told him that she saw a prison stay in his future.  He attacked her, then killed two witnesses.  He was sentenced to 22 years in prison. 

With all the current charges against him, Kwame Kilpatrick has fired his attorneys and hired the fortune teller. 

“I Don’t Know Nothin’ ‘Bout Fixin’ Dresses!”

The University of Texas in Austin is asking for donations to help restore five of the dresses Vivien Leigh wore when she played Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind.  They say they need $30,000 to fix the worn fabric and tattered seams on the dresses which include what’s been called the most famous dress in movie history;  the green gown that Mammy made from the drapes.

If they don’t come up with the cash…  Where will they go?  What will they do? 

I’m not donating because frankly, I don’t give a damn!


And with that I am “Gone With the Wind” for today.  Hope yours is a great one and I’ll see you back here tomorrow!

- Dick