If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands!

According to the annual Gallup World Poll, Scandinavians are the happiest people on earth.  The poll is based on a series of questions about overall life satisfaction including whether respondents are well rested, pain-free and intellectually engaged.  American’s ranked 14th, right behind Brazil.

The unhappiest people were American women getting Brazilians.

Sweden only won because Elin Nordegren is from there – and her happiness over the $700 million divorce settlement from Tiger threw off the curve.

The “intellectually engaged” part eliminated every one who’s ever dated Britney Spears or the Olsen Twins.

The Apple of His Eye

Stefan Magadalinski came up with a creative way to give his wife a practical birthday gift while making it seem romantic.  He bought her an iPad, but instead of putting it in the Apple box, he wrapped it in plastic and had it dipped in gourmet chocolate to look like a giant candy bar.  He says she was thrilled when she cracked the chocolate and found the iPad.

NOTE TO MEN:  This may work with an iPad, but don’t expect a great reaction if you give her a chocolate dipped vacuum cleaner.

Technically the iPad wasn’t a chocolate bar…it was more like a “Candy Apple”. 

So Fourteen is the New Six!

British actress and “Mad Men” star Christina Hendricks is being celebrated as great role model for women.  She’s a size 14 and is proud of it.  In fact Esquire recently named her “The Sexiest Woman Alive”.  She says she’s proud of her full figure and says of her size 36C breasts, “They are fabulous”.

Most women would prefer to be a size 14 if everything they ate went straight to their boobs!

I am like such a totally big fan of Art…

80 Year old Gordon Clement of Georgia was surprised to discover that a painting he bought for a few bucks, then failed to sell for $25 dollars at a local auction turned out to be worth a lot more.  As he was driving home a relative noticed something moving around inside the frame.  Turned out to be $4800 worth of pot.  He said he was a nervous wreck driving home knowing how much marijuana he had in his car. 

He reported the incident to the cops…. Right after he polished off three burrito supremes and a bag of Doritos. 

At 80 years old, it can use all that pot for his glaucoma!

Ironically, the painting featured Cheech and Chong playing poker with a bunch of dogs.

Speaking of Canabis, uh, I mean Canvas…

On this date in 1656, the Dutch master artist Rembrandt declared bankruptcy. 

Today, of course, he is remembered for his most important work:  The Rembrandt Tooth Whitening Strip System.

If Mona Lisa had only used it… maybe she wouldn’t have been afraid to smile and show her teeth!

“I’m Ready For My Close-Up…”

The latest craze in movie making seems to be losing it’s appeal.  Ticket sales for the latest batch of 3-D films have been steadily declining. 

I’d settle for a decent 2-D movie… just too many one-dimensional characters. 

In other cinematic news…

On this day back in 1928, the first all-talking feature film , “Lights of New York”, opened in NYC. 

President Calvin Coolidge, who attended the premiere, called it “a boring chick-flick”. 

These days, the audience talks more than the actors do. 

And finally…

Happy 67th Birthday to Mick Jagger.  He still performs, but now he sings, “Hey, hey, you, you, get offa my lawn!

 

Have a great day and we’ll see you back here tomorrow!

-Dick, Jackie & Big Al

 

 

 

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