Yesterday People magazine named Julia Roberts the Most Beautiful Person in the World for the 4th time.  It’s also the 12th time she’s made People’s 100 Most Beautiful People in the World List.  

- Mandatory PC Line:  My pick would be my wife, Gail.  I’m no dummy!

- I asked Gail for her pick for the world’s most beautiful person… she didn’t go the PC route like I did.  She said it’s a toss-up between Brad Pitt and Gene Hackman.  ??? Does anybody know a good eye doctor?  


Designer Kimberly Brewer didn’t like how her favorite low-rise jeans exposed her “Gluteal cleft” when she sat or bent over.  So she invented a solution:  the “Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield”.  It’s an adhesive strip of denim, decorated with studs, rhinestones, hearts and other designs.  It sticks directly to the skin so your butt crack is covered when your jeans are too low. 

- Before you order one, make sure it won’t cover-up your Tramp Stamp!

- I think I remember hearing about a device like this before… Oh, yeah.  It was called JEANS.

- If you want one of these don’t bother calling your local plumber.  I guarantee he’s never heard of ‘em. 


Well it’s official… Wednesday lawmakers in Lansing made Michigan the 19th state to make “texting while driving” illegal.  Governor Granholm will sign the bill into law via satellite on “The Oprah Show” Friday. 


- When he heard the news, Kwame immediately hired a driver… at six bucks a month.    

- I say “two thumbs up”!

In other texting-type news… Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has announced that he is joining the Twitter community.  He says he will use his “tweets” to muster support for his socialist “revolution”.

-Actor Sean Penn got so excited when he heard the news he was rushed to the hospital with thumb spasms.

- Coming soon… “Facebook for Facists”!


NASA has revealed that recent probes have discovered that the planet Mars – once thought barren – actually has what is considered the basic building blocks of life:  pond scum.

- So apparently it’s true… Mars is where old radio program directors go when they retire.   

In other “Outer Spacey” News… the makers of Oxyclean have just announced that their product can get rid of the rings around Saturn!


Animals in the News…

Police in Winona, Minnesota, found a car abandoned after it struck a light pole.  A few hours later, the man called to confess saying that he’d lost control of the car when the dog began to throw up all over him.  Believe it or not, the story checked out…

- This is why it’s a good idea to let your dog hang his head out the window.

An poll reveals that one-third of married women who own pets would rather talk to their furry friends than their husbands.  18 percent of men said their pets are better listeners than their wives. 

- And you don’t have to worry about your pet spilling your secrets… unless you happen to own a parrot.

- There is a caveat:  The poll revealed that when you complain to your cat it just rolls its eyes.

- 100% of both men and women said they’d rather talk to their spouses than phone solicitors.  


The reality show network truTV announced that it is developing a new show based on a British program to be called “The Naked Office”.  The premise?  A consultant goes into a real office and helps the workers overcome destructive interpersonal issues and build teamwork by gradually shedding their clothing.  By the end, they’re supposed to have built up enough trust to work together completely naked for one full day.

- Don’t we already have a show almost identical to this?  It’s called “Dancing With The Stars”.

- What are the chances?  I retired last month and NOW they come up with this premise.