This is a Breaking News Alert… So Big, We’d Have It Scrolling Across the Bottom of the Page If We Knew How To Do That…
Dateline: His Bedroom
Recent Radio Retiree Dick Purtan shocked not only his wife, Gail, but also himself last night by sleeping an astounding 10 hours and 12 minutes in a row. (Well, almost.) Purtan went to bed at 11:45pm and didn’t wake until 8:55am EST when he glanced at the clock, rolled over and went back to sleep until 9:57am.
A Sleep-Event of this magnitude has not happened to Purtan since August of 1965 – just prior to his starting the morning show on WKNR.
What led to this phenomenon? Experts disagree. One told us it could have been the glass and a half of red wine Purtan reportedly had with dinner which would both act as a relaxant and of course provide him with heart-healthy antioxidants. Another expert said simply, “Look, the guys been getting up in the middle of the night for 45 years. He’s tired”.
In a related story… Salmon Futures fell leading to a near panic on Wall Street, as word came that Purtan dined on Beef – not his usual Salmon - at a local Bistro last night.
More details as they become available…