Turns Out His Wife Was Flat and the Earth Was Round!

Happy Columbus Day!  Although Tuesday marks the actual date that Christopher “discovered” the new world, we celebrate it on Monday because lets face it, it’s more important for government employees to have a three day weekend than to be historically accurate! 

And speaking of weekends… WHAT’S UP WITH THE LIONS?  In case you missed it, they decimated the Rams 44 to 6!  Yes… you read me right!  THE LIONS WON!  BIG!  I haven’t been that surprised since the one day back in 1985 when Art Van WASN’T having the Biggest Sale in their History! 

While we’re on the topic of furniture… I don’t know if they burned any couches in East Lansing over the weekend but the Spartans were hot.  It’s rough in my house – five of my six daughters went to MSU and one, Jackie, went to U of M.  Thus every time the phone rang during the game I had to check my caller ID to know if I should sound excited or depressed! 

Don’t “Fall” For This One..

There was a huge story floating around this weekend that this October has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays – an event that reportedly would not occur again for another 823 years.  I did a little Googling and found out that it’s not true.  If you do the mathematical calculations (which I didn’t, but luckily someone else did) it turns out that the “3 Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays in October Phenomenon” actually happens about every six years.  The 823-year thing only applies to Lions lop-sided victories. 

And now a few other things going on…

Appearing Before the Commander-With-No-Briefs 

President Obama spoke at a rally for Democrats in Philadelphia Sunday.  At one point during his speech a stark naked overweight man hurled a paperback book at him, narrowly missing his head.  He was quickly arrested and one police officer held a “Vote 2010” sign over the man’s privates to shield him from the crowd. 

Ironically, the book was called “How to Throw a Book and Hit the President in The Head For Dummies”. 

So basically the cop used a “Vote 2010” sign to cover the man’s hanging chad. 

Something tells me this guy is about to have the book thrown at HIM.

He was just going to throw one of his shoes, like that guy in Iraq threw at President Bush, but he wasn’t wearing any. 

What You Are About To See Is An Actual Re-Enactment…

The Atlantic magazine is claiming that Ohio Republican House Candidate Rich Iott spends his weekends dressed in a Nazi uniform.  The article raises questions about whether he’s obsessed with Nazis and what that means.  Actually, it means he plays a German soldier for a historical society that reenacts Work War II battles.  He’s also played a WW II U.S. infantryman, a WWI doughboy and a Civil War Union soldier. 

Now Democrats won’t vote for him because he played a Nazi, and Republicans won’t vote for him because he’s an actor. 

Turns out he bought the Nazi uniform on “E-Bay” from a young, freckled redheaded guy identified only as “Prince H. of England”.

Big Al spends his weekends taking part in “culinary reenactments”… He plays the Pillsbury Doughboy. 

They Did Say “I Do”! 

Sunday was a huge day for weddings.  Why?  The date.  It was 10/10/10.  32,000 couples in America chose it as their wedding day, compared to only 5000 that were married on October 10th of 2009.  The date only comes around once a century.  The only similar dates in this century come next November on 11/11/11, then the following year on 12/12/12. 

No one will ever forget that they got married on 10/10/10… except for the grooms of course. 

10/10/10 also happens to be Kate Moss’s measurements. 


AOL’s Stylist blog reports that Justin Beiber has inked a deal to market his own line of fingernail polishes for his ‘tween girl fans.  The colors are all named after his songs, like “Prized Possession Purple” and “Me + Blue”.  The collection is called “One Less Lonely Girl” after Beiber’s song of that name and will be in available at Wal-Mart in time for Christmas.

You’ll find it right next the “Adam Lambert Guyliner Collection”.

Leave it to Beiber to come up with such a great marketing idea!

Now you can get stretch pants, Justin Beiber nail polish, alcohol and firearms all in one place!  PARTY!

Today’s Almanac

On this day in 1968, the first manned Apollo mission into space, Apollo 7, was launched.  On the same date in 1975, Bill Clinton married Hillary Rodham.  

So today, we honor men who dared to go to cold, scary places where no men had gone before. 

Ironically, neither the astronauts nor Hillary ended up “going to the moon”.


Have a great day and we’ll see you back here tomorrow!

- Dick